A mirror is what we look into to see our faces or apply makeup. Long ago, people must have gazed into still waters to see themselves, and later, they likely tried to polish stones or metals to catch a glimpse. The mirrors we have today, created through thousands of years of painstaking effort, were once called Myeong-gyeong (Bright Mirror) or Se-gyeong (Fine Mirror). A mirror reflects 100% of the light and reveals a form exactly as it is. Yet, the image reflected in the mirror is an illusion with the left and right reversed. I remember as a child, I used to struggle to see the space behind the wall-mounted mirror, curious about what was back there—much like I was curious about what was inside the television.
Mirrors mass-produced in factories are made by placing large sheets of glass on a conveyor belt, using abrasives and brushes to perfectly remove minute dust or grease. To make silver adhere well to the glass, a special chemical solution (such as tin chloride) is sprayed on, followed by a simultaneous spray of silver nitrate solution and a reducing agent. A chemical reaction occurs, forming a very thin layer of pure silver on the glass surface, thus becoming a mirror. It is a magnificent invention. These sheets are then cut to the appropriate size. However, no matter how well you piece together a broken mirror, you can never see a single, unified image as you did before. I suspect the same is true when cracks form in affection or trust.
The poet Yi Sang wrote a poem titled "Mirror": "The me in the mirror is the opposite of the real me, yet / We resemble each other quite a bit / I cannot feel the me in the mirror, yet / Without the mirror, how could I have even met the me inside it?" I feel the same. Without the mirror, how would I have ever met myself? In his poem "Self-Portrait," the poet Yun Dong-ju sang: "Inside the well, the moon is bright, clouds flow, the sky spreads out, a blue wind blows, and autumn resides. / And there is a man. / For some reason, I grow to hate that man and turn away." It is an atmosphere that brings to mind the phrase Myeong-gyeong-ji-su (A clear mirror and still water). If the mind does not settle like water, one's thoughts are bound to be disoriented.
In the 15th stanza of his "Songs of Qiupu," Li Bai makes a grand exaggeration, saying his white hair has grown to "three thousand jang" (nearly 10,000 meters) due to sorrow. He says he does not recognize the person reflected in the mirror (Myeong-gyeong-ri). He then compares the white hair to white frost. The poem goes: White hair three thousand jang long / Sorrow makes it grow this way / I know not, within the bright mirror / Where did I get this autumn frost? Choe Chi-won, the great man of letters of Silla, said in his poem "Self-Mirror" that a mirror reflects even the heart: The bright mirror can shine upon the heart (Myeong-gyeong-sim-neung-jo) / My chilly appearance, I grieve my own aging / No need to lament many partings / My black hair has already become like silk (white hair).
I recently visited my old teacher after a long time. I was curious about his well-being, but I was also filled with the expectation that I could learn condensed wisdom of life from him. However, the moment we met, I felt as if my breath had stopped. Although no one can escape the passage of time, it felt like looking into a mirror that showed my own self several years into the future. I wish time would stop now. I know it is impossible, but it is because I do not want to grow any older. I am not a person of great greed. I know that struggling is of no use and that I am in a position where I must prepare for the finale. Therefore, there is little possibility that my past life or my environment will change significantly. The word Bo-geon (Health/Preservation of health) means to well-preserve a healthy state, so managing oneself well without overexerting has become important. That is the priority.
People say it is a great happiness to be able to lift a spoon of rice with one's own hand, walk to the bathroom on one's own feet, and depart while laughing with family with a sound mind. This is a blessing and a grace.
The movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) is the story of a man born as an old man who dies as a baby. Why was such a movie made? Such a thing happens to no one. In the end, we are wrinkled and shriveled, and we cannot be beautiful in outward appearance. We depart after receiving care like a newborn baby. Even then, can we receive love and respect?
There are many people who are lonely but cannot say the words "I am lonely." They pretend to be relaxed while smiling and never say they are lonely until the very end; they are likely no different from me. Most people who look upward envy those above them, feeling inadequate, unattractive, and full of regret. I pray that my appearance several years from now, seen through the mirror of my teacher, will not be like that. A hunched back, slow speech, sluggish movements... Yes. The mirror of my teacher, which showed me my future self after a long time, was strikingly accurate. And yet, this spring passes by once again. / kieejo@naver.com
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