Meeting at the Gyeongnam Hana Center in Seongsan-gu, Changwon, on the 22nd—two days ahead of the Chuseok holiday, the biggest holiday of the year—North Korean defector Yu Sun-hee (70) said that Chuseok is a day she does not welcome. For North Korean defectors who share memories of gathering with family to cook and eat holiday food, this is a time when nostalgia for the family and hometown that they manage to forget in their daily lives grows thick.

On the afternoon of the 22nd, North Korean defector Yu Sun-hee clasps her hands together, thinking of her family at the Gyeongnam Hana Center in Seongsan-gu, Changwon. On the afternoon of the 22nd, North Korean defector Yu Sun-hee clasps her hands together, thinking of her family at the Gyeongnam Hana Center in Seongsan-gu, Changwon.

Yu said, “When Chuseok comes, no matter how difficult life was in North Korea, we always place even a bowl of rice at our parents' graves. I wonder if my five younger siblings and relatives left behind in the hometown are taking good care of things,” and added, “I miss the deceased, I miss my hometown, and I want to see my siblings, so for North Korean defectors like us, Chuseok is not entirely welcome.”

Yu, who left her hometown of Hamhung, South Hamgyong Province, in 2008 to find her daughter, crossed the border, passed through China, and entered the country in 2010. Her only family member here, her daughter—whom she met just eight months after settling in Changwon—passed away last year while battling blood cancer. Yu's eyes reddened as she said, “Right after I came here, I didn’t have such thoughts, but these days I miss my hometown and think a lot about wanting to go back.”

Saying that North Korean defectors who left their hometown and suffered a forced separation from their families live with their own respective nostalgia, Yu shared, “During the holidays, 30 to 40 North Korean defectors gather at my house to make songpyeon, corn noodles, and bracken or other herb side dishes just like we did in North Korea, sharing each other's stories while crying and laughing. Songpyeon is made with beans or red beans, or sometimes filled with pork like dumplings.” She continued, “The sense of guilt and burden for not being able to stay by our hometown and family's side is great, and my heart aches and I feel sorry for the family members who likely face heavy sanctions and surveillance because of our coming to South Korea.”

Saying that even in North Korea, every Chuseok she would gather with family to exchange regards, Yu noted, “Depending on the region or family it varies, but during holidays we would visit the graves to bow, eat food with family right there, and come down.” She added, “Because permits were needed in North Korea for people to gather, all our relatives couldn’t get together, but we spent time happily with our family.”

However, after losing contact with her family, she says she cannot even figure out whether they are alive or dead now.

“Chuseok has arrived, and I wonder if you are going to Mom and Dad's graves. Although it is impossible, before I die, I also want to go to my parents' grave. Let's not forget each other's faces, don't starve to death, don't freeze to death, and let's meet again even in a dream.”

Thinking of her younger siblings left behind in her hometown, Yu conveyed these words. Tears streamed down Yu's reddened eyes.

According to Gyeongnam Province, as of last month, the number of North Korean defectors residing in the Gyeongnam region stood at 1,037. Relevant agencies estimate that the vast majority of them still have relatives living in North Korea.

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