Why Do Women Apologize Even on Their Deathbeds?

KO YONG-CHUL Reporter

korocamia@naver.com | 2026-01-21 12:33:00

Medicine’s Long History of Betraying the Female Body



In 2017, after giving birth to her first child, tennis legend Serena Williams experienced severe coughing—so intense it ruptured her C-section stitches. When she requested a CT scan, fearing a blood clot, nurses told her to "just calm down." It was only after her persistence that a CT scan revealed life-threatening pulmonary embolisms.

This harrowing anecdote opens a deeper conversation in Dr. Elizabeth Comen’s new book, All in Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women's Bodies and Why It Matters Today (reviewed here under the Korean title Betrayal of Medicine Toward the Female Body). As an oncologist, Dr. Comen exposes a systemic issue: the historical and modern tendency of medical institutions to dismiss female physical pain as mere psychological distress.

The "Default" Male Body
The core of the problem, Comen argues, lies in the "male-as-default" standard. Since Ancient Greece, the male body has been treated as the "healthy norm," while the female body was viewed as a deviation or a complication. This bias is not just an old-fashioned notion; it is baked into the very textbooks and clinical trials that form the foundation of modern medicine.

Apologizing for Being Ill
Perhaps the most heartbreaking observation in the book is the social conditioning that leads women to apologize for their own suffering. Dr. Comen recalls a terminal breast cancer patient named Ellen who, in her final moments, whispered, "I’m sorry I’m sweating on you."

Dr. Comen realized that Ellen was not alone. From women apologizing for sweating—a natural stress response—to patients applying nipple stickers over mastectomy scars to avoid "making the doctor uncomfortable," women frequently bear a burden of shame that their male counterparts do not.

A Call for Change
The book serves as a powerful indictment of how terms like "exaggeration," "moods," and "anxiety" have been used to gaslight women in clinical settings. It proves that the definition of "normal" in health is often a reflection of social power and trust rather than biological reality.

All in Her Head is more than a medical history; it is a call for a fundamental shift in how we diagnose and treat half of the human population.

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